Fullmetal Cosmetic Surgery Clinic!
by KitTea
Summary: Scar and Mei Chang have created a clinic! Just choose what type of new face you want and then they will do it! *WARNING: SEVERE PAIN MAY OCCUR* I got this idea from an extra in volume 16.*On hiatus*
1. Chapter 1

Scar and Mei Chang were working together to put up the sign of the grand opening of their new clinic:

Fullmetal Cosmetic Surgery Clinic.

It was Mei Chang's idea, after she had used her knowledge of the Purification Arts to reconstruct Dr. Marcoh's face after Scar had destroyed it. His face had been changed into a very 'handsome' one.

Scar had been hesitant at first, but decided, since he had nothing better to do, to join Mei Chang to create their clinic.

Now, they sat in two of the many seats in the lobby, awaiting their first customer.

About five minutes later, someone came in! It was none other than...Roy Mustang.

(TO BE CONTINUED)

**I got this idea from the extra in FMA volume 16. XD I will try to make the chapters longer. :3**


	2. The First Customer

**It seems in this chapter that Scar is very...sadistic.**

**O.o**

**Thank you, Lady Lexi of The Lil' Lands, for your idea! xD**

Scar resisted the strong urge to tear Mustang to pieces. He knew Mei Chang and her cat would not like that. Instead he put on a fake sadistic smile.

"Welcome to Fullmetal Surgery Clinic Cosmetic!" Scar announced a little too enthusiastically, while mixing up the clinic's name. "Choose what type of face you want!" Scar replaced his fake sadistic smile with a sadistic grin. "We can do whatever you like."

Mustang didn't seem to notice the sadistic grin as he scanned the face choices that were hanging on the lobby's walls.

"I want the handsome man face!" The Colonel announced. "I think Riza will like it."

Scar's face was blank in a sadistic way. "Who?"

"Never you mind. Now give me my face!"

"Of course." The sadistic tone Scar used made it evident that he would make the procedure as painful as possible.

He led Mustang from the lobby and into a corrider. There were multiple rooms that looked like they belonged in an asylum. Scar opened a steel door that had a plaque that read, "4".

Mustang was seated in a chair and straps were put in his arms and legs. Scar's sadistic grin grew wider. He shut the door and a shadow fell across his face. His eyes seemed to glow and his sadistic grin was scary. He let out a sadistic chuckle before taking off a glove he was wearing.

" This will hurt." He said sadistically.

Scar put his hand on Mustang's face and lightening flashed as he destroyed the Colonel's face. Roy Mustang yelled for help and cried out in agony. Scar was laughing sadistically as he destroyed the skin of Mustang and blood splattered onto the walls. After a few minutes he was finished.

Mustang glared at Scar. "What the hell was that? How dare you maim me? I want a handsome face you horrible son-" Mei Chang came into the room. Mustang stopped. He certainly didn't want to say anything that was _inappropriate_ in front of her. Still, his face stung.

"I am here to finish the procedure!" Mei Chang smiled. "The final stage!"

More screams were heard.

After that, Scar grabbed a mirror. "Take a look." He insisted in a sadistic way.

A lot more screams were heard, along with a few curse words.

"My face!" Mustang screeched. "When I said I wanted a handsome face, I did not mean THIS!" His face looked like someone else's face now.

Alex Louis Armstrong to be exact. Hair and all.


	3. EDWARD'S FACE

**I decided that Ling will be in this chapter.**

Soon, the lobby was full. It was the next week after Mustang's visit and Scar and Mei Chang were surprised.

"We need more people to work at the clinic. Then our customer service would be much better." Scar mused.

"How about we hold an audition?" Mei Chang suggested. She didn't realize that she was doing it wrong. There was supposed to be a job application, not an audition. Anyhow, people still came. Scar decided that the people who were auditioning would use the people in the lobby. They could be Surgeons (Scar's job) or Reconstruction Artists (Mei Chang's job).

It seemed that Ling Yao was first in line. He was smiling and twiddling with his thumbs. Lanfan and Foo were nowhere to be seen. Or so everyone thought. But who cared about that? Ling was called up to audition. When he got into the room, the person he would 'reconstruct' was...Warrant Officer Fallman. Or whatever his rank was, because everyone kept calling him Warrant Officer.

Anyways, his face looked like...no one wanted to look at it.

Ling realized he couldn't do anything. He suggested using a needle and thread.

"NO!" Fallman screamed. Mei Chang reconstructed his face instead and kicked Ling out. She almost got killed by Lanfan for kicking the prince.

That was when Edward Elric himself walked into the clinic.

Mei Chang and Scar gasped. "THE SHORT ALCHEMIST!" They both exclaimed in unison. Edward spun around.

Thunder clapped. "What...did...you...say?" His eyes glowed and he bared his sharp...fangs? "How dare you insolent fools call me short?!"

Scar decided that the young alchemist wanted a 'tall face'. He grabbed Edward and sat the shocked boy in a chair, quickly applying the straps.

"What is this?" Edward screamed. "LET ME OUT!" Sadly, he couldn't transmute while being strapped to a chair.

Scar placed his hand on Ed's face.

"WAITWAITNONONNONO!" Edward Elric screamed. "I'MSORRY! I AM-ARRRGGGGG!"

Some more _beautiful _blood covered the wall. Then Mei Chang entered the room.

"WAIT N-AAARRRRRGGGG!"

Scar entered the room (no one knew when he had left the room...) with a mirror.

"MY FACE!" Ed screamed. _Again_. "It is so tall. Wait till I brag about it to Al! He'll be SO jealous!" He laughed and ran out of the building. Mei Chang and Scar exchanged puzzled glances.

**Hahaahahaha...ha...ha...**

**I got the tall face idea from a different extra. I forgot which volume it was in, sorry. XD**


	4. TOO MUCH SCREAMING!

**This hasn't been updated in...NOT FOREVER! OH MA GERD**

Ed entered the clinic again, this time with Winry. His tall face was no more (for some strange reason) and he was pouting.

"You!" Winry yelled at the receptionist. The receptionist was...ENVY!

Ed recoiled. "OH GOD!" He screamed. "WINRY SAVE ME FROM THE GIRLY PALM TREE! PLEASE!"

Envy and Winry both gave Ed a strange look. Envy shrugged. "Not my problem if he wants to be saved. Anway, you're the next patient after...let's see...The first Greed." He sighed. "Greed's gonna cause a lot of trouble. Oh well. I'll go get Wrath if I have to."

"NO!" Ed was still screaming. "MY ENEMIES! THEY ARE ALL HERE! PLEASE WINRY! HELP!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP AND STOP COMPLAINING!" She screamed back, holding up a wrench.

Ed's mouth slammed shut.

Suddenly, there was a loud POP and a cry of pain (it sounded like Scar). Envy scowled. "See! MY STUPID SIBLING IS THE ULTIMATE SHIELD AND SCAR'S STUPID CAN'T BREAK THROUGH HIS STUPID "ULTIMATE SHIELD", THAT IDIOT!"

After quite a bit more screaming Ed was in room 6. He was strapped to the chair again and Winry was leaning aganst the wall not too far from him.

Scar entered the room. "Ah, the bean sprout!" He exclaimed.

Ed's face reddened. "WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SHRIMP THAT CAN ONLY BE SEEN UNDER A MAGNIFYING GLASS, YOU DAMN BASTARD?!" He began to yank on the strap to free his right arm and punch Scar.

"Edward, calm down." Winry growled.

"Yes, Fullmetal." Scar agreed. "Besides, you cannot hurt me with your weak automail."

Winry's face changed from slightly annoyed to very pissed off. "What...did you say?" She asked quietly.

"I said," Scar began.

"I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO REPLY!" Winry screamed. She lifted her wrench and started hitting the Ishbalan with it.

"AH!" He cried out. "I'm-oof! Sorry-ouch!"

When Winry was finished, well, you know.

"Let's go, Ed." She growled.


End file.
